2016 Honorary Angel – Blake Monroe Frettim
Blake Monroe Frettim
March 2, 2014 – March 23, 2014
In July 2013, we were thrilled to find out we were expecting another baby. We had a two year old daughter, Brooke, at home and had experienced an early miscarriage two months prior. We were cautious, but beyond excited! The growth and anatomy ultrasound was in December 2013. We found out we were having a BOY. We were elated! Since the pregnancy was half way over, we were sure we would be able to bring this baby home. The baby looked great, but his hands would not open up so we were asked to come back for a follow up. The baby still did not open up his hands at the next ultrasound. At this point we began to get worried. The doctor said it could possibly be “amniotic band syndrome” (fibrous tissue remaining from the prior miscarriage) causing a growth defect, but just to be sure we were referred to a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist. With the MFM specialist we had an additional ultrasound, and it was confirmed that the baby’s wrists were contracted. The specialist was not able to determine a reason for the contractures, but he believed it wasn’t due to Down syndrome or another condition of that nature, so we were released to continue on with the pregnancy normally as planned.
We were very scared and nervous, not knowing why there were contractures. We prayed that there wasn’t a bigger issue present. We also researched hand specialists and planned to speak with someone at The University of Iowa Hospital about future treatment and determine a plan for when the baby was born. Whatever was going on, we were ready to take it on and love the baby no matter what.
On Valentine’s Day 2014, Mommy slipped on the ice and fell so another ultrasound was done. Things looked as great as they could. Baby looked wonderful and the heartbeat was perfect, but the wrists were still contracted and baby did not move them nor open up his hands. Throughout the course of the pregnancy, Mommy rarely felt the baby move.
As time went on, movement was basically non-existent. We were very concerned, but the OB doctors did not seem to be. Several non-stress tests were done, but we were advised the baby was moving appropriately and the heartbeat was great. At the end of February 2014, one of the doctor’s was concerned with Mommy’s heart rate, so we were sent over to the hospital for further monitoring. An ultrasound of Mommy’s heart was done and it appeared to look fine. We were kept for three nights. Several ultrasounds were done, and we had constant non-stress test monitoring. Mommy’s belly was very large for the gestational size of the baby.
At 32 weeks the belly was measuring about 43 weeks, due to excess amniotic fluid. By the fourth day at the hospital, the doctors became very alarmed with the latest ultrasound. The baby had fluid accumulating around his lungs. After consulting with each other, the doctors confirmed it was time to deliver; we needed to find out what was wrong and be able to treat and care for the baby outside of the womb.
Blake Monroe Frettim was born later that day on Sunday, March 2, 2014 by c-section. He was eight weeks early, but a good weight at 4 lbs 2 oz. He did not cry. He was immediately intubated to help him breathe and was taken straight to the NICU. Though we were nervous, we were overjoyed our baby boy was here! He was so very precious. We didn’t have any idea what to expect, but we thought it couldn’t be too long and he would be breathing on his own.
Blake was diagnosed with “Hydrops Fetalis” which is abnormal fluid accumulation in two or more compartments of the body. We had never heard of this condition before. About a day and a half after delivery, one of the neonatologists explained that she felt Blake had about a 10% chance of survival. We were floored. We had no idea how severe his condition really was up to that point. We thought this couldn’t be happening to our family. We prayed and prayed every day for his health. It was difficult leaving the hospital when Mommy was able to go home, but family was always there, even through the overnight hours. Mommy and Daddy went back every day, getting the latest report on how he was doing and spending time with him.
Due to his fragile condition, we were not allowed to hold him, so we would stand around him; watching him closely and kissing his isolette. We were on constant watch of his monitors for his blood oxygen levels, heart rate and pulse. We had to be extremely quiet so we didn’t startle him and set off his numbers. Mommy did get to change his diaper a few times. It was so hard not being able to hold and comfort him. After about a week, Blake was able to be tube fed breast milk, which was extremely comforting. The doctors tried several times to start weaning him off the oscillator ventilator, but his body would not allow it so the settings were changed back to what they were to begin with. Blake’s heart, brain and organs looked great and were functioning normally. His chromosome testing all came back normal as well. We were relieved for those pieces of great news. His lungs were the main cause of unease. The doctors advised that once his condition improved we would be able to focus more on the cause of the Hydrops.
The days seemed to fly by, yet stand still at the same time. It was a whirlwind of 
emotions, not knowing what to expect next. One night he was not doing well. We were called late in the evening by his nurses because things were not looking good. He was emergently baptized as we did not think he would make it through the night. The nurses were amazing and knew exactly what to do and what medication to give to stabilize him. We didn’t know how we would ever be able to live without our baby. A couple days later Grandma Debbie called the chaplain to request a prayer to be said aloud over Blake. As soon as the chaplain was done and left, Blake miraculously opened up his eyes to look around. This was the first and last time it ever happened. Mommy was the only one visiting at the time. Without trying to disturb him, Mommy took several pictures, but it only lasted a minute or two.
Having him open his eyes made us still feel that he would be able to overcome the major health problems and come home. At about 2 ½ weeks old, one of the doctors explained of his fear that Blake did not seem to be improving. The fluid accumulation around Blake’s lungs became severe. He was very puffy and had a glossy appearance to his skin. On day 19, a chest tube was put in place to drain some fluid off his chest. The next day, two more tubes were put in. The tubes helped, but the fluid would still build up again. Air pockets began to develop in Blake’s lungs as well, but the oscillator could not be turned down as it what was keeping him breathing. According to the doctors, Blake’s lungs had stopped developing while he was in the womb and they never would be able to continue to grow. One doctor said she believed
Blake had the lung condition from the moment he was conceived. If he was not delivered early he probably would have been still born.
After much distress, we made the painful decision to remove Blake from life support. He passed away in Mommy’s arms, surrounded by family.
We are so heartbroken, but we think about Blake every day and especially grateful that we received 21 days with him. We are also comforted knowing that we have our own special angel watching over us — a true connection to Heaven. When our time comes, what a reunion that will be!
In December 2015, Blake’s little brother was born. He is named Monroe Blake Frettim, in honor of Blake. Without knowing if we could have another successful pregnancy, we are extremely blessed to have this healthy rainbow baby!
Interesting fact:
Blake was born on 3/02/14.
His brother Monroe was born at exactly 3:02 pm and we were taken to room 2014 for the remainder of our hospital stay.
This has been our most comforting sign from Blake, letting us know he is here with us!!
